Untouchables

"If you knew the sacrifices that I have made, the things that I have given up, and the pieces of myself that I have given away for you, and you treat me this way. You declare war on me, and you shame me, and you make me beg for scraps when I have done nothing but fight for you." - Mellie Grant

fifty5hadesofgrey:

“You’re a sadist?”

“I’m a Dominant.” His eyes are a scorching gray, intense… “It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things.”

“Why would I do that?”

“To please me,” he whispers as he cocks his head to one side, and I see a ghost of a smile…

“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”

He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.

“Me.” 

greyspam:

Jamie Dornan

dakotjohnson:

Jamie Dornan is really very creative.

dakotjohnson:

Jamie Dornan is really very creative.

kaje-the-woman:

Vampira at The Riviera in Las Vegas, 1956

kaje-the-woman:

Vampira at The Riviera in Las Vegas, 1956

damsellover:

Vampira in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

damsellover:

Vampira in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

You know, these actually don’t sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though.

Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map and his penis…

"Michael, what’s wrong?"

"Everything’s wrong. The stress of my modern office has cause me to go into a depression!"

This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. It may have been the costliest decision I’ve ever made. My greased up head went into the pumpkin no problem, but… I can’t get it out. I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin… But as Jim and I discovered any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. At first I drove myself crazy thinking about the things I should have done differently. I never should have hollowed out this damn pumpkin in the first place. Then I realized that I was being silly. I mean, the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. Right?